Holidays in the Sun and Snow
by elphabachan
Summary: While Jackie and Hyde go on their California honeymoon, Donna and Eric decide to take Barry into the Wisconsin Wilderness. But sometimes the perfect trips don't go as planned.
1. Prologue

Holiday

A/N: As much as I like flexing my angsty writing muscles, I decided that I needed to get back to my roots of just writing fluffy humorous stories. The idea of a J/H honeymoon has always made me smile. And so does a guy like Barry in the Wisconsin wilderness. Hilarity will hopefully ensue. This is part of the ManhattanVerse series, I suppose, like my other stories.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with THAT 70s SHOW. But Barry is mine.

"Steven! I want to be out the door in an hour!" Jackie exclaimed, throwing stuff in her suitcase as fast as she could. He was brushing his teeth, amused that his new wife was flipping out this much about the flight. "If we don't get there on time and we miss our flight I'll be so upset you won't believe it and I'll get a divorce from you!" He laughed, and she stood in the doorway, hand on her hip.

"What is so funny?" she demanded.

"You're what's so funny," he said. "Calm down, we have all afternoon to get to the airport. We won't miss our flight, just chill out."

"You better be right," she said, and began grabbing her stuff from the bathroom. "I don't want to spend our honeymoon in Point Place, especially since we've already paid for the tickets and the hotel on the beach." He grabbed her arm, and pulled her to him. She sighed, and he massaged her shoulders. "This is taking up valuable time."

"Calm down," he repeated, and rubbed her slightly protruding stomach. "Stress isn't good for it."

"It, you make our child sound so alien," she said, placing her hand on his.

"I won't call it anything but 'it' until it's born, especially since you won't let us know the gender."

"It has to be a surprise," she said. "Ugh, going on my honeymoon three months pregnant, the whole 'bride in trouble' idea applies to me so well."

"You still look fine, it's barely noticeable," he said, and she continued packing.

"I heard one of my parent's friends mutter 'how dare she wear white?'" Jackie said, irritated. He shook his head, and she sat on the bed.

"Come on, Jackie, don't let them get to you," he said.

"Come to think of it, I think it was my aunt Felicia," Jackie muttered, and rested her hands on her head.

"We're going to have a great honeymoon, just think about that," he said. She nodded, and someone knocked on their door.

"Come in!" Jackie called. Barry Grant walked into the room.

"Are you all packed?" he asked, sitting next to his best friend. She nodded, and then shook her head. "Well what do you need still?"

"I still have to pack my underwear and stuff," she said.

"I don't touch girls stuff," Barry said. She shoved him a little bit, and ran for the drawers to pack some more. "So Hyde, has she driven you crazy yet?"

"She's been driving me crazy since I moved to New York," he answered, and she threw a slipper at him. "Hey! Careful, those are dangerous, those bunny slippers."

"Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman insulted," Barry said. "Oh, speaking of fury, guess what I found out."

"… You've been straight all these years and missed out on marrying me?" Jackie teased.

"God no," Barry said. "I called the airport and MY flight was completely cancelled, and the only one that they could get me on is three days from now."

"Jeeze!" Jackie exclaimed. "So what are you going to do?"

"… Well, you won't believe it, but since Donna and Eric were gonna stay in town a few more days, Kitty offered to let me stay in Laurie's old room," Barry said. "So I'm gonna be hanging out with Eric, Tommy, and the knocked up maid of honor."

"I heard that!" Donna called from the hallway. She walked into the room. "Jackie, are you packed yet?"

"No!" Jackie wailed.

"Please don't upset the pregnant woman," Hyde said, throwing his stuff in a bag.

"Hey, I'm just as excitable too, ya know," Donna said, pointing to her belly. "Here, let me help you guys."

"Barry, you could help too," Jackie said, as Barry simply played with her curling iron.

"I'm fine just sitting on my ass, thank you," Barry said.

"Jackie, don't forget to get a lot of pictures," Donna said. "I've never been to Monterey and I hear it's gorgeous."

"The aquarium is quite amazing," Barry said, and used the curling iron like a ventriloquist dummy. "'I like the sea otters!' Yes, I know you do, Curly!" Jackie grabbed the curling iron from him, and he sulked slightly.

"Monterey Bay is the perfect vacation spot in March," Jackie continued, throwing the curling iron in her suitcase. "For one thing, it's not the tourist season. So there won't be a lot of obnoxious people there to get in my way."

"There she is, taking charge and hating people," Barry said, grabbing the curling iron again. Donna threw Jackie's panties into the bag, and Hyde zipped up his suitcase.

"I'm packed," he said.

"How did you do that!" Jackie exclaimed.

"I don't have enough luggage to last me until winter, that's how," Hyde said. "We're only there for three days, Jackie, you have enough to last three weeks."

"That's over exaggerating," Jackie said. "I have to be able to mix and match nice clothes, and I have to change shoes as well, so in my opinion I packed extremely light."

"'She packed light, Hyde!'" the curling iron said, and Barry chuckled at himself.

"Give me that!" Jackie exclaimed, and packed it away for the second time. "It's like I'm babysitting you or something."

"No, that's my job," Donna said.

"You guys are bitches," Barry muttered, and they both giggled at him. "Okay, are you packed, Jackie?" She looked around, pulled out drawers and went through the list in her head.

"I think I am!" she exclaimed, and smiled from ear to ear. "We're ready to go on our honeymoon!" Hyde nodded, and she hugged him tightly.

"Hey Barry, guess what WE'RE gonna do," Donna said. Barry looked at her skeptically.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, Tommy is going to stay here with Red and Kitty, but you, Eric, and I, we have something else planned."

"You mean YOU have something else planned," he corrected. She nodded, and looked over at Jackie.

"Hey Jackie, do your parents still own that cabin up north?" she asked. Jackie didn't look up as she put on her shoes.

"Yeah, they never use it though," she said. "Why?" Donna smiled at Barry.

"We're going camping!" she exclaimed. Barry and Jackie exchanged glances, and then both burst out laughing. "What?"

"You think… You think… You think I'm gonna go CAMPING!" Barry howled, and Donna grabbed his arm. "Ow! Watch it, Broomhilda."

"We're just all gonna hang out at Jackie's parents cabin, talk, sit in the hottub, have some ADULT TIME THAT I SO DESPERATELY NEED," Donna said, perfecting her scary voice. "This may be the last time I get to go and have some fun, since child number TWO is on the way now, and I am not about to leave you with Red and Kitty. Got it?"

"You'd better do what she says," Hyde said. "If you think Jackie is tough when angry, Pinciotti used to beat up Kelso."

"In grade school?" Barry asked.

"Try just last night," Jackie said. "He was getting fresh with her at the reception." Donna nodded, and arched her eyebrows.

"Just remember that," Donna said, letting his arm go. "Okay? So, get you stuff! We're going camping!" She smiled, and walked from the room.

"So we all get to go on trips!" Jackie said, smiling. "I'll leave my parents a note to tell them you guys will be up there." Barry groaned.

"Winter camping, what a trip," he said. "Hey Hyde, wanna give me your ticket?" Hyde chuckled, and grabbed the bags.

"We gotta go," he said. "See you back in New York, Barry." Barry groaned, as Jackie hugged him.

"I'll call you!" she said. "The key is under the stone lion on the front stoop! Trust me, we're gonna both have great times." They walked out of the guest room, and Barry sighed.

"I hope you're right," he said.


	2. Chapter 1: A Gremlin and a 'Wolf'

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! And yeah, this is before the Epilogue to PRODIGAL CHEERLEADER, sorry about forgetting to mention that. On we go!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW. But yes, Barry is mine.

Jackie and Hyde got off the plane, gathered their (mostly her) bags, and walked to the rental car place at the San Francisco Airport. She held his hand, and smiled up at him.

"I love our honeymoon so far," she stated. He chuckled.

"We haven't even left the Hertz lot," he said, filling out the rental forms. "You're also extremely optimistic. If I told someone that not three hours ago you were flipping out they wouldn't believe me."

"It's just because we're here," she said. "How far is Monterey from here?"

"A couple hours," he said. She chuckled. "What?"

"You Midwesterners always tell distance in hours," she said, nudging him.

"Excuse me, aren't you also a Midwesterner?" he asked, handing in the form.

"No, I'm a New Yorker."

"Well so am I."

"No, you have to have lived there for at least ten years to be considered that," she said. "So I am, and you aren't. It's a rule."

"That's a dumb rule."

"Sorry, it's the truth." He was skeptical, and the cashier handed him the keys to the car.

"Here you are, sir," the woman said. "I hope that you enjoy the car and all of it's features."

"How is the car?" Jackie asked. "Cuz we're on our honeymoon, and I hope it's a great car. As newlyweds we deserve that." The cashier looked at her, then at her slightly swollen stomach, and then back at her.

"Newlyweds, huh?" she said, and clicked her tongue. "And not a moment too soon." Jackie's jaw dropped, and Hyde pulled her away before she caused a scene at the Hertz station.

"Can you believe that woman!" she exclaimed. "I thought that once we were married I was no longer considered a whore!"

"No, once you have the kid and we start lying about our anniversary, then you will no longer have that title," he said, chuckling a little, but she was not amused. He cleared his throat, and hoped that this wouldn't put her off for the entire car ride. "Don't let her get to you, she's just an old bat who probably doesn't have a husband. Feel better?"

"…. A little," Jackie said. "Ha. I have a husband."

"Yes you do."

"I have a husband and I'm a designer! AND I'm gonna have a baby!"

"All of this is true," he said.

"Though she was hardly old, she was probably in her forties," Jackie said. "She still has time to live up to me, I suppose." Whatever makes her feel better, he thought, and looked at the car assignment. It was around somewhere.

"What spot is it parked in?" Jackie asked, and stopped pushing the cart. Hyde looked around, and then had to keep his mouth from dropping at the car. He pointed, and Jackie looked at where he was gesturing. She dropped her bag, eyes wide.

"Steven..?"

"…. Yeah?"

"…. Is that a Gremlin?"

"….. Yeah. Yeah, I think it is."

"Our honeymoon car is a GREMLIN?" she asked, looking at the bright yellow abomination in front of her. He looked at the slip again, making sure he didn't read it wrong. He hadn't.

"Yeah, doll," he said. "We're the proud temporary owners of a yellow Gremlin." She looked at the back of the car, and arched an eyebrow at it.

"Can my luggage even fit in this thing?" she asked. He was going to answer, but then began to question that himself.

"I… don't know."

"…. Oh man. I think I'm going to have a panic attack," Jackie muttered, putting her hands to her forehead.

"Calm down, Jackie, it's just a car," Hyde said, putting his hands on her back. "Just calm yourself, it's not a big deal, this is why I packed light."

"You packed light because you don't plan on wearing more than one nice shirt or one pair of jeans!" she exclaimed.

"Well, if things go my way we won't be wearing clothes much," he said, but she was off on the car now.

"Steven! A Gremlin!" she squeaked out, and he began laughing a little bit. "What? What is so funny? This isn't funny!"

"Jackie, it's hilarious!" he laughed, and she huffed, crossing her arms. "No really, you're freaking out about a car we're barely going to be using anyway. And come on. The Gremlin is famous." She sighed, and moaned a little bit.

"It's not famous, it's notorious," she said, and he knew that she had decided that maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn't a big deal and maybe it was hilarious. He loaded their bags into the trunk (they just barely fit), and she climbed into the front seat.

"I bet that Barry is faring better than we are," she said as Hyde climbed into the driver's seat next to her.

"I doubt it," he said. "I mean, Donna's forcing him to go camping."

"Yeah but my parents cabin is hardly camping," she said, and he started up the car.

"Do you have the map?" he asked. She paused.

"…. I thought you had the map."

"….. JEEZus."

-----------------------------------------------

Donna and Eric walked into the cabin, and emitted low whistles. Since Jackie's parents got back together they had redone the entire cabin as a way to have a fresh start to their relationship. Now it was very classy, and looked like a ski lodge as opposed to a cabin.

"This is spiffy," Eric said.

"I have a feeling it's like her parents relationship," Donna said.

"Spiffy?"

"No, gilded but everything that matters to keep it going is defunct," Donna said. "We'll just see how the stove works. I'm not getting near it."

Barry walked in with his luggage, and groaned.

"Let's get the heat on, shall we?" he asked.

"I'm not getting near the furnace either," Donna said. "So! What do you think?"

"I think it's like The Burkhart's relationship," Barry stated.

"See?" Donna exclaimed, pointing at Barry. "He knows what I mean."

"God, I feel like I'm in 'Little House on the Prairie'," Barry muttered.

"Barry, for crying out loud, there's indoor plumbing, a kitchen, and a hot tub," Donna said. "You're worse than Jackie when it comes to roughing it."

"You think this is roughing it?" Eric asked. "When I was in Africa-."

"I will NOT make this a competition," Donna said, handing her bags to Eric.

"It's cuz I always win the roughing it competition," Eric whispered to Barry as she went for the kitchen.

"We'll have to go into town and get food," she said. Barry sat on the couch, and grabbed the wool blanket off the back of it.

"Heat. Now."

"Bite. Me," Donna said. Barry sighed, and laid down on the cushions. "Oh Barry, it's not that bad, and besides, this way you can experience a real winter. Not a wussy New York City one."

"Oh how lucky I am!" he said, waving his hands in the air. "Now I can truly, TRULY, die happy. Just knowing that I could possibly freeze to death is so wonderful, I'm very grateful."

"Are you finished?" Donna asked. Barry nodded, wrapping the blanket over his head. "How on Earth does Jackie travel with you? You're so high maintenance."

"She's high maintenance too," Eric said.

"Yeah, but if you're high maintenance in the same way you can travel just fine," Barry said, voice muffled through the blanket. "That's our secret. And even then I'm not as bad as she is."

"How will Hyde be able to maintain her til death do they part?" Eric asked, carrying the bags into the bedroom.

"That's what Barry is there for," Donna answered. "He handles the parts that Hyde can't."

"It's true," Barry said, sitting up. "So where is my bedroom? My bags need to get out of the front room and into my own private space."

"You can take Jackie's old room," Donna said. "At the end of the hallway, I think." Barry nodded, and got up and brought his bags into the room at the end of the hall. He turned on the light, and almost gagged. If they had redone the house, they had not touched Jackie's old room. It was still bright pink in all forms.

"Donna, I'm gonna get you for this," Barry muttered, and began unpacking his bag.

A howl came from outside the window. Barry leapt on the bed, startled, and looked around. Another howl emanated the night.

"What the HELL is that!" he exclaimed. Donna ran into the room.

"What's wrong!" she asked, concerned. The howl happened again.

"That! What is that?" he asked. "Is it a wolf?" She snorted.

"It's a dog, Barry," she said. "I think some hunters are about a half mile down the road. Calm down."

"If it makes that noise all night I'm going to go insane," he said.

"You really don't go camping ever, do you?"

"I'm from Schenectady, Donna, we don't camp, we stay at home, go to Church, and go to Temple," he said.

"I thought you were Christian, you celebrate Christmas," Donna said.

"My mom is Jewish," Barry said. "We do both."

"I did not know that," Donna said, and the howling began again. "Okay, yeah, that's pretty obnoxious, I guess."

"Will it just go away, please?" Barry asked.

"The owners will let it in before they go to bed," Donna said. "You won't have to live with it all night." Barry nodded, and Donna sat on the bed next to him.

"If you just open your mind, you'll have a good time," she said, and smiled at him sympathetically. "Be optimistic."

"Donna, I'm a New Yorker," Barry said. "Optimistic for me isn't 'this cabin trip is going to be a hootenanny!' No no. Optimistic is 'Oh good! That guy who stole my wallet didn't stab me to death!'" Donna chuckled, and shook her head.

"Wanna get in the hot tub?" she asked. "Or didn't you pack trunks?"

"Oh I did," he said.

"But you were only planning on being in Point Place in March," Donna said. Barry shrugged.

"Always be prepared," Barry said, and she nodded. "I'll meet you out there." She nodded, and left the room. Barry opened the curtains to the window, and looked out into the sunset.

"I don't see what the big deal is," he muttered, and began to change into his swimsuit. The dog howled again, and he sighed. I hope Jackie is having a good time, he thought.


	3. Chapter 2: Settling In

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with THAT 70S SHOW.

"I bet you want me to carry you over the threshold, right?" Hyde asked Jackie, as he unlocked their hotel room. She giggled, and shook her head.

"You don't want to carry me," she said, and pointed at her stomach. "I'm a whale, remember?"

"If you're fishing for compliments you won't get anything," he said.

"Aww, why not?" she asked.

"It feeds your vanity," he said.

"Whatever, that's cool," she said, and he opened the door to the hotel room. She peeked her head in. "Okay, this is better than that damn car."

"The Gremlin wasn't that bad," Hyde said. She put her bags at the foot of the bed, and pulled back the curtains. There was a lovely view of Monterey Bay. She sighed, happily, and turned around.

"It's gorgeous here," she said. He closed the door behind him, and walked to her. He began kissing her neck, and she moaned happily. "You're frisky today."

"I've been frisky since our flight," Hyde said, and she tapped his nose with her finger. "Come on, before we hit the beach let's hit the sheets."

"That was tacky at best," she said. "Okay, we had a bump in the road with the car, but now we've gotten to a point where nothing can go wrong for our honeymoon."

"Be careful, you're gonna jinx us," Hyde said, wrapping his arms around her back. He led her to the bed, and she smiled at him as she sat down. She then screamed, and leapt up on the bed. "JESUS, what's wrong!"

"That!" she exclaimed, pointing at the wall. "There's a spider on the wall!" Hyde rolled his eyes.

"Are you kidding? Jackie, you shouldn't freak out about a spider," he said, turning to where she was pointing. "JESUS! That's a fucking huge spider!"

"I know! I knooooow!" she exclaimed, sitting in the corner across the room. "Kill it!"

"I… Okay, I'm going to be honest here," Hyde said, standing behind the bed. "I'm afraid that if I attempt to kill it, it will sense my hostility, and attack."

"Well we can't share this room with it! Kill it!" she exclaimed.

"Why should I be the one to kill it!"

"You're the man!"

"Are you serious? Have you reverted back to your high school attitudes?" he asked.

"My hate for spiders has not changed, so how could it have reverted?" she demanded.

"Can't it wait?"

"Steven, it could scamper off to it's spider lair and then, when we're sleeping, it could lay eggs in my face, and my face will swell up, and I'll think I have a pimple, but it will actually be SPIDER EGGS IN MY FACE. And then they'll hatch and it will break open, and all the baby spiders will burst out!" she exclaimed.

"…That's sick."

"Barry told me that story once in college."

"Hand me your Cosmo."

"But… but it's Cosmo!"

"Cosmo is being sent into battle," Hyde said, grabbing it from her carry-on.

"But… it's Cosmo!" she said again, grabbing it from him.

"How else are we going to get rid of the spider?"

"But… it's-!"

"I know it's Cosmo!" he exclaimed. "Woman, hand me the Cosmo!" She sighed, and tossed him the magazine. He rolled it up, and smacked the spider with it. She shrieked a little bit, and Hyde looked at the magazine.

"Is it dead?" she asked. He examined it, and nodded. "Oh good. For a second there I thought we were living in a bad horror movie." He smirked, and offered her the magazine. "No, we can just throw that out."

"Oh, you finished all the articles you wanted?"

"… No."

"…. Sorry."

"It's fine, you can buy me a new one," she said, and he dropped it in the waste basket. "So, where were we?" He arched his eyebrows slyly, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Right about here, I think," he said, kissing her gently. She smiled, and threw her arms around his neck. "So, shall we officially start the honeymoon?"

"What does that involve?" she asked.

"Well, we fool around for awhile, go to dinner, fool around some more, go to the beach, fool around some more, and then sleep," he said. "Then we start it up again in the morning." She smiled, and nodded.

"I like that plan," she said. They began kissing again, and she sat on his lap. "I love you."

"Back at you."

"My brave spider killer."

"Glad to be of service."

"I knew I married you for a reason."

"For my extermination services?"

"You got it."

"Wanna begin the honeymoon now?"

"Nah, I can wait."

"You're a tease."

"I've been this way forever, you knew that before you married me." He kissed her again, and she finally lost herself in it. After the junk bucket car, the lost map, and the queen of the spiders, this honeymoon could only go up from there.

----------------------------------------

"I have brought food!" Eric called, opening the door. Barry and Donna put down the playing cards, and both charged him for the groceries. "Hey! Careful, there's breakable food stuffs in there!"

"What should we have for dinner?" Donna asked Barry, as the rooted through the bags. "Mmm, spaghetti and meatballs sounds nice."

"That does sound good," Barry said.

"Remember I'm the one cooking, so I'd appreciate nothing too elaborate," Eric said.

"How elaborate is that?" Donna asked, and handed him the pasta and meat.

"You can always help me," Eric said, and Barry and Donna chuckled. "You guys suck."

"I have an excuse, I'm pregnant and… I'm tired," Donna said.

"Well what's your excuse, Barry?" Eric asked. Barry looked over at Donna, and then back at Eric.

"I'm bad at cooking," he answered.

"That doesn't cut it," Eric said.

"Then…. You're forcing me to stay in the Pink Kingdom," Barry said. "And that makes me tired too." Eric shot him a look, and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he continued. "I'll help with dinner."

"My hot tub buddy!" Donna exclaimed.

"You shouldn't be in a hot tub anyway, you're pregnant!" Eric said. "Too hot water is bad!"

"Fine fine fine," Donna said. "I'll take care of the pasta. You cave too fast, Barry."

Barry and Eric made meatballs as Donna boiled water.

"At least we aren't eating squirrel," Barry said, and Eric chuckled.

Donna went to grab a sweater from the bedroom. She rummaged through her suitcase, and found a picture of Tommy. She smiled sadly, and threw the sweater over her head.

"Eric, do you think it would bother your mom if I called and checked in on Tommy?" she asked as she walked into the main room.

"Nah, she knows what it's like to be a mother," Eric said. "Go for it." Donna smiled, and grabbed the phone from the table. She dialed, and sat next to the porch door as she waited for an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kitty, it's Donna."

"Hello, Donna! How is the cabin?"

"It's fine, the men are making dinner and I'm relaxing."

"That sounds nice."

"So Kitty, I was calling about Tommy. How is he adjusting?" Donna asked. "This is the first time he's been away from me in a long time, and I wanted to make sure that he isn't anxious or crying for me."

"Oh no, he's just fine," Kitty said.

"Really?" Donna asked. "Oh! Well, good! I'm glad he isn't upset, I was really worried about that."

"Yes, he's fine, he and Red are playing catch in the living room," Kitty said.

"Well, has he asked about me at all?" Donna asked, a little hopeful.

"Um… No, not to my recollection," Kitty said.

"Oh… Well, good!" Donna said. "Just remember that he likes 'Goodnight Moon', and you have to kiss his teddy bear goodnight too, or he gets upset."

"I remember, Donna, don't worry," Kitty said. "He's fine without you being here." Donna was silent for a little bit. Kitty realized her mistake, and tried her best to back paddle.

"I mean, I'm sure he misses you, but he's handling it very well," she continued, and Donna sighed. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"Oh! Yes, yes I would!" Donna said.

"One minute, dear," Kitty said. Donna waited, and waited, and tapped her feet and hummed a little bit. It had only been a couple minutes but she really wanted to hear Tommy's voice. It felt like hours.

"Um," she heard Kitty say.

"Is he there?" Donna asked.

"… He would rather play ball," Kitty said.

"…Oh my God."

"Now don't worry, he's just having a great time playing with his grandpa, a ha ha ha!" Kitty said, laughing in a reassuring way. "I'll call the cabin in an hour when it's almost bedtime for him, and you can say goodnight!"

"Okay," Donna said, leaning against the glass door of the porch. "Okay, yeah, that sounds good."

As she said this, though, tears began to well in her eyes. She didn't have time to start crying, for a large THUD hit the porch door, and a snarling dog began barking through the glass.

"JESUS!" Donna exclaimed, leaping from the door.

"Donna?" Kitty exclaimed. "Donna, are you okay? What's wrong!"

"Nothing, Kitty, a goddamn dog just scared the heck out of me," Donna said, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. "I have to go! Remember to call!" She hung up, and looked at the barking lab.

"Eric!" she yelled, and Eric and Barry came running into the room, and saw the animal as it fogged up the glass.

"What is that thing!" Eric asked.

"I think it's that damn dog from down the road!" Donna exclaimed. "Or it's a dog from hell!"

"It's eyes are red!" Barry exclaimed.

"They aren't red, Barry, it's a trick of the light," Eric said. "I think…"

"Where's it's owner?" Barry asked.

"Good question!" Donna exclaimed. She walked to the curtains, and shut them so they didn't have to look at the ugly beast anymore. They could still hear it though.

"Has it trapped us in the cabin, like 'Cujo'?" Eric asked.

"That was a car," Barry said.

"I don't care if it was a train, has it trapped us?" Eric exclaimed.

"It's owners will want to find it sooner or later," Donna said. "Just… walk away from it and hopefully it will lose interest." They walked into the kitchen, and Donna wiped more tears from her face.

"Jeeze, that thing really scared you, didn't it?" Barry asked, rubbing her back. She nodded, and didn't want to tell him that her fear was not just of the big angry dog outside.


	4. Chapter 3: Faces of the Past

Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW.

After a nice dinner on Cannery Row, Hyde and Jackie drove down to the beach in the dubious Gremlin for a twilight stroll.

"This is so romantic," she said. "I haven't been on a Pacific beach in such a long time."

"I've never been on a Pacific beach," Hyde said.

"Wanna go wading?" she asked.

"Noooo," he said. She crossed her arms, and sulked at him. "Fine. We can go wading. But just for a little bit."

"Okay!" she said. She took off her flats and hiked up her dress, and he took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. They strolled into the waves, and watched the sun as it began to set.

"The water is kind of cold," Hyde said.

"Warmer than the Atlantic," she retorted. As they walked, they saw kids making sand castles with their parents watching them. A little girl ran up to them.

"Hi!" she exclaimed.

"Why hi!" Jackie said, smiling at her. She looked so angelic.

"Are you from here?" she asked.

"No, we're from New York City," Jackie replied.

"Why are you here?" the child asked.

"Well, we just got married two days ago and now we're on a trip," Jackie answered. The little girl looked at Jackie, and then Hyde, and then Jackie's stomach.

"Don't babies come after you get married?" she asked. Jackie's eyes flashed, and Hyde groaned. Here we go again, he thought.

"Not always," Jackie answered, trying her best to be kind to the child and not strangle her.

"My cousin had a baby without being married," the girl continued. "My parents say she's an abominable snowman." Jackie and Hyde exchanged glances.

"They say that?" Hyde asked.

"Er something like that," the little girl said.

"You mean abomination, Michelle," the very familiar voice said, and Jackie spun around, and was face to face with her freshman roommate. Michelle Gardner. Bitch supreme."Jackie Burkhart?" Jackie was shocked to say the very least.

"Michelle Gardner," she said, and smiled as best she could. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here now with my husband and daughters," Michelle said, and hugged Jackie. "Is this your husband?" Hyde shook her hand.

"Yeah. Hi. I'm Steven Hyde," he said. Michelle thought for a second, and then a look of recognition spread across her face.

"You're THE Steven Hyde?" Michelle asked. "The one who dumped Jackie for a stripper?"

"Well, things change," Hyde said. Michelle laughed that catty laugh, and Jackie felt like she was that intimidated roommate again.

"Oh, I heard a lot about you! Apparently you came around," Michelle said, and looked at Jackie's stomach as well. "And I assume congratulations are in order."

"Oh, I suppose so," Jackie said, holding her stomach defensively, as if Michelle was a crazy lady who wanted her fetus.

"So when did you get married?" Michelle asked, taking little Michelle's hand so she wouldn't fall into the surf and drown herself.

"Two days ago," Jackie stated. Michelle arched an eyebrow, and shrugged.

"Well," she said, smiling politely, "some things don't change." Jackie turned red, and Hyde put an arm around her.

"So Michelle, I heard a lot about you too," Hyde said. "And you're right. Some things REALLY don't change at all." Michelle sort of arched an eyebrow, and looked from husband to wife.

"Well, I wish I could stay, but I need to get Michelle home," Michelle said. "Jackie, you should call me sometime."

"Sure, Michelle," Jackie said. As she and her daughter walked away, Hyde and Jackie were silent.

"Wanna wade some more?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, I think I want to go back to the hotel and sleep," she said. He nodded, and sighed.

"You know…" he said. "I'm wondering. You think she has more or less plastic in her than a Barbie?" Jackie burst out laughing, and shrugged.

"I've been judged by a child," she said. "Can I sink any lower?"

"Well, that was judgment from The Bad Seed who is the Spawn of Medusa, or so you have told me," Hyde said. "And after those two minutes, I'm inclined to agree with you." She smirked, and shoved him a little bit.

"Steven, you know just what to say," she said. He smiled, and put an arm around her. "When did that happen?"

"…..After saying the wrong thing made me lose you," he said.

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with my husband?" she asked, floored by this sudden mushiness.

"You get a few moments of this throughout our marriage," he said, grouchily. "I'm not making a habit of it, so don't expect it often. Only when you're really low."

"Like when a child calls me a skank."

"She didn't call you a skank, she called you an abominable snowman."

"I don't know which is worse."

"Yetis aren't bad," Hyde said.

"So I should thank my lucky stars that she called me a hairy ape from the Himalayas?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Great."

"Look, let's walk down the beach, watch the sunset, go back to the hotel, fool around, and then sleep," he said.

"Again with the fooling around?"

"Hey, get it in while we can," he said. "Once OUR Bad Seed is born we won't have the time or energy for it."

"So get it while we can because once our CHILD is born we can't get it anymore?" she asked.

"Yep."

"There's the cynical man I married."

"Yeah, romantic Hyde is gone for another ten years," he said. She sighed, and looked back at Michelle and Little Michelle.

"Wait until Barry hears we ran into Michelle Gardner," she mused. Hyde smirked, and slipped his hand in hers. She sighed, and wondered if this honeymoon was going to take a turn for the better and turn into the honeymoon she'd dreamt of when she was a child. The one that didn't involve pregnancy, judgmental six year olds, giant arachnids, and scary cars that felt unsafe. Though, it didn't involve Steven Hyde either. And the fact he was there made up for it all. Well, most of it anyway.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. She was pulled from her thoughts, and saw Hyde jumping up and down on one foot. "Dammit!"

"What happened?" she asked.

"I stepped on a shell!" he exclaimed, and pulled a sharp shell out of his foot. As his foot began to bleed, and as she helped him to the car, she groaned. Few people's honeymoons live up to their expectations, she kept telling herself.

Barry walked into the main room the next morning, and pulled the curtains open to let the sun in. The dog was sleeping on the porch.

"Daaaaaaaaamn it," he moaned, and closed them again.

Eric walked into the main room, towards the kitchen area.

"The dog is still out there," Barry said.

"I don't function until I have my coffee," Eric muttered, and turned on the coffee pot. "Wait, the dog is still out there?"

"Yeah," Barry said. "I think we're trapped."

"Can we get to the car at least?" Eric asked.

"I hope so," Barry stated. "So how did you sleep?"

"I slept fine, but Donna was pacing awhile."

"Why?"

"When my Mom called she said that Tommy was already asleep, so Donna couldn't talk to him."

"Uh oh. That must have been heartbreaking."

"Not that she'd admit it," Eric said, and looked back at the coffee pot. "Come on! Come on come on come on!" Barry looked back to the porch door, and pulled the curtains back again. This time there was a man on the porch. Barry cried out, and the man yelled too.

"Hey!" the man called, as he pet the dog. "Don't freak out! I'm just here to get my dog!" Eric walked to the window, and Barry clutched a hand to his chest.

"MY GOD you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Barry exclaimed. Eric opened the sliding glass a little bit.

"This is your dog?" he asked.

"Yeah," the man said. "I'd been looking for him since last night, I was going to come here and ask if you'd seen him. I'm Paul, by the way."

"I'm Eric, this is Barry," Eric said, and the dog looked much friendlier in the daylight. "Your dog gave my wife quite the scare."

"Aww, I'm sorry," Paul said. "Charlie was probably scared cuz he was lost. Tell her sorry for me."

"We will," Eric said.

"Say, are you friends with the Burkharts or did they sell this place?" Paul asked."Oh, we're kind of friends I guess," Eric said. "Donna, my wife, is really good friends with their daughter, who is on her honeymoon right now, and Jackie offered to let us stay here for a couple days."

"I gotcha," Paul said. "Man, I haven't seen Jackie since I stumbled onto this property while hunting when I was fourteen. She was a spitfire, even at ten. You know, one summer when she was fifteen I tried wooing her, but she had none of it. I guess she was kind of picky."

"She still is," Barry said, eyeing the dog on the back porch.

"Would you like to come in for some coffee?" Eric asked.

"Nah, I best be on my way," Paul said.

"Oh, okay. It was nice meeting you."

"You too. And, again, sorry for the scare," Paul said. "And you tell Jackie next time you see her that Paul Ramsey says hello." He winked, took Charlie by the collar, and walked off the porch and back towards the road.

"Can you say creepy?" Barry said as the door was closed.

"Ah, he was nice," Eric said.

"He bred that satanic dog, he can't be THAT nice," Barry said, pouring them coffee. "And why did he feel the need to tell us he tried to get with Jackie? When she was fifteen?"

"Come on, Barry, if you were straight you'd want to get with Jackie," Eric said. "Everyone wants to get with Jackie. Hell, the first time I met her, I wanted to get with Jackie. Well, until she opened her mouth."

"You wanted to get with Jackie?" Donna asked, leaving the bedroom. Eric spun around, guilty look on his face.

"For like ten seconds," Eric admitted. "But then it was back to you, baby." Donna chuckled a little, and rubbed her eyes.

"Awww, I'm your silver medal," she said, feigning happiness. "So who was here talking with you?"

"Paul from down the road," Eric said.

"Cujo's owner."

"Paul what?"

"Ramsey, I think."

"EW!" Donna exclaimed.

"What's the ew about?" Eric asked.

"Paul Ramsey!" Donna asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"He totally tried to get with me one weekend when Jackie and I were up here!" Donna exclaimed. "And Jackie!"

"Okay, I'm sorry I offered him coffee," Eric said, cringing.

"I told you he was creepy," Barry said.

"You didn't tell him I was here, did you?" Donna asked, looking out the window.

"Well… I may have mentioned it."

"GREAT," Donna said. "So now I probably have a stalker."

"He didn't seem to remember you, just Jackie," Eric said.

"So Jackie is more memorable than I am?" Donna asked. "Is that what you guys are saying?"

"I'm not a good judge, I don't notice women that way," Barry said, making a break from the room. She looked at Eric, glaring, and he smiled at her sheepishly.

"I'll blame this all on your hormones," Eric said.

"I should be the one blaming you!" Donna exclaimed. "First you want to get with Jackie-!"

"HOW many years ago was that?" Eric demanded. "Like fifteen or something?"

"Then that creepy hunter is skulking around our cabin!" Donna continued. "Barry! We're going out!"

"Out where?" Barry called from the bedroom.

"We're going for a walk in the woods!" she said, shot one last look at Eric, and grabbed her coat and boots.

"Ha! Like hell I am!"

"MOVE IT!"

"Okay okay okay!" Barry exclaimed, and began grabbing his coat and hat and mittens. He ran out into the front room and followed Donna outside. "See ya, Eric. Hopefully it won't take too long."

"When she's this mad it could be hours," Eric stated.

"Not with me complaining it won't be," Barry said, following her.


	5. Chapter 4: Nature at it's Finest

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with THAT 70S SHOW, but Barry is mine and I love him so!

Hyde woke up to Jackie vomiting in the bathroom. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and turned on the T.V.

"Jacks, the weather should be great today!" he called.

"Wooooo," she responded. He heard the toilet flush, and she left the bathroom, looking generally miserable.

"Wanna go to the beach?" he asked.

"I want to yank my stomach out of my body and be rid of this morning sickness," she said. "Steven, this honeymoon isn't going right at all!"

"What are you whining about?" he asked, turned down the T.V.

"I wanted a perfect honeymoon and nothing is going well!" she whined. "Everyone we meet thinks I'm a whore, our car is a deathtrap, your foot had a shell imbedded in it, and now I'm puking my guts out because our baby doesn't like continental breakfasts!"

"… If it makes you feel better my foot isn't as bad as you make it out to be," he said.

"No, cuz then I'm not right," she sulked.

"Jackie, come on, it's just the first night. We have two more days here, and that means we have a lot of time to turn it around," he said. "We're going to the beach today, tomorrow's the aquarium, and then we go home to New York the day after that. You're supposed to be the eternal optimist, I'm getting tired playing this role. It isn't me."

"Well you may have to play it in the coming months the larger I get," she said. "Oh GOD this is my last hurrah!"

"Okaay, it's time to get on your swimsuit and get to the beach," he said.

"I don't think I should go to the beach today," she said. "I have bad vibes all around me, I can't be good news for anyone, especially beach goers."

"Come on, Jacks, we're in Monterey, California," he said. "We'll go to Santa Cruz, go on the boardwalk, I'll win you something, we'll go shopping…"

"You'd seriously let me go shopping in Santa Cruz, WITHOUT complaint?" she asked.

"… If it will shut you up about your bad vibes or whatever, I will go shopping with you in Los Angeles."

"Really!"

"Nooo!"

"Fine! Okay, I'll get my swimsuit on and we'll go to the beach," she said.

"Well don't make it sound like a chore," he said as she walked to the dresser drawer.

They got to Santa Cruz at eleven, and Jackie rubbed suntan lotion all over her visible body. Hyde held up a camera, and she posed as he took her picture.

"I do want to get a tan while we're here," she said, laying back on the blanket.

"Aren't you going to get in the water?" he asked.

"No! There are sharks in those waters," she said, putting on her sunglasses.

"You're cracked. You are more likely to die from a bee sting than die from a shark," Hyde said, sitting on the blanket next to her. "And lighting. Hell, you are more likely to die in childbirth than…" She raised her sunglasses, eyes wide.

"Forget that last statistic," he said. She nodded curtly, and pulled the sunglasses down again. "All I'm saying is that you aren't going to get eaten by a shark if you go swimming for just a little while." She sighed, and rubbed her stomach a little bit.

"I'm gonna go for a dip," Hyde said. "You are free to join me whenever." She nodded, and he dove into the surf. She played with the sand, and looked up at the sky. At least I've protected myself against burning, she thought, and smiled to herself. She stood up, and walked to the water. She dipped a foot in it, and then walked into the water up to her waist. She looked around, and didn't see Hyde anywhere.

"Where did he go off to?" she muttered, as something grabbed her ankle. She screamed, and Hyde popped out of the water, laughing. "Oh you aren't funny!" She hit him a few times, and he laughed more.

"Aw come on, it was funny," he said.

"You KNEW I was afraid of sharks and you played that mean trick!" she snapped, folding her arms and turning her back on him.

"Take a joke, Jacks," he said. "I didn't think I would have scared you that badly."

"Well I was scared," she said, and turned around. She smiled a little bit. "Besides, I was gonna do it to you." He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around her.

"See, you still have a sense of humor," he said, and they sat in the surf.

"So Steven, what's your favorite memory of us?" she asked, playing with the sandy floor.

"Girls always ask this and guys never have an answer," he said.

"Oh come on," she protested. "It's out honeymoon. You and me, best memory, go!"

"Valentines Dance the night you said you loved me," he said.

"Another mushy moment for Mister Steven Hyde!"

"Damn, those just keep slipping out!" he said, splashing her a little bit. "Fine, but it's your turn now. Give me your favorite memory of us. If you're forcing me down memory lane, I'm taking you with me."

"Well, probably when you defended my honor at Red's BBQ," she said. "Cuz it was then that I knew you did love me."

"It's sad how our favorite memories are back from high school," he said.

"Well, to be fair we didn't talk from the end of 1979 until December," she stated.

"Yeah, I guess," he stated. They kissed, and he brushed wet hair from her face.

"And now we're marrieeed," she sang. "I finally got you."

"Took you long enough."

"But I eventually won," she said. "And that's what marriage is all about. The fight for power."

"That sounds like something I'd say."

"You're rubbing off," she said. "Wanna go back on shore? Maybe go shell hunting?"

"Sure," he said. "We can get back in the water later." She grinned, and they swam back to the beach.

They got their towels, and dried themselves off. Right before Jackie and Hyde could put their towels away, they noticed that everyone was on the beach, and no one was in the water. They looked at each other, and a woman ran up next to them.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jackie asked. "Why isn't anyone in the water?"

"It's so scary!" the woman said. "Someone saw a shark over by those rocks!" She pointed, and Jackie and Hyde realized that they had just been in those rock beds not three minutes before that.

"What kind?" Hyde asked, softly.

"Great White," the woman said. "Big too! They're closing the beach now!" Jackie looked up at Hyde, who put his arm around her shoulder.

"Wanna go shopping?" he asked. She nodded quickly. But before he could stop her, she grabbed the camera and ran down the beach. "Where are you going!" He followed her, and she held up the camera. She took a picture, and whooped.

"I got a picture of it!" she exclaimed, pointing. There was indeed a fin poking through the surf. "In our scrap book I'm labeling that 'and here's the shark that almost ate us because Steven wanted to go swimming in the RED TRIANGLE!'"

"Jesus you're morbid, let's go," he said, and she wound the camera again. "Jackie!"

"Okay okay okay," she said. "Besides, shopping is better than near death experience any day."

"With you, I'm willing to contest that," he stated.

------------------------------------

"Can you believe Eric?" Donna asked as she and Barry walked through the woods.

"Are you still mad?" Barry asked.

"Yes."

"Now is it a reasonable anger, or a displaced anger?" Barry asked. Donna shot him a look, and continued walking. "I think it's the latter, since you didn't answer me."

"I just can't believe that he thought Jackie was cute!" Donna said. "When we met her she was a scrawny little fifteen year old!"

"Hey now, that's my best friend you're talking about," Barry said. "And yours too… What's that about?" Donna sighed, and stopped walking. She sat on a log, and put her hands to her head.

"It's not about her," Donna stated. "Okay, so I didn't get to talk to Tommy last night. I think that's what's bothering me."

"That's what I figured," Barry said, sitting next to her on the log. "Hey, call him when we get back to the cabin."

"It's not just that," Donna said. "He's growing up!"

"He's two, Donna, he's not going off to college," Barry said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "You still have lots of years left with him. And this other one."

"I know, but he didn't want to talk to his mommy," she said. "He wanted to play catch with Red instead of hearing my voice."

"Kids love catch."

"They love their mothers too!"

"Lordy. If Jackie is anything like this as a mother I am going to slap her around," Barry stated.

"Why not me?" she asked.

"Haven't known you long enough, I don't have that right," Barry said. "Look, call Tommy when we get back."

"I was such a bitch to Eric."

"He's used to it I'm sure."

"Thanks a lot!"

"Oh you know what I mean," Barry said. "Okay, so it's cold out here. What say we go back to the cabin and enjoy the hot tub?"

"I can't get in it, I'm pregnant," Donna said, glumly.

"You can soak your feet," Barry said, raising his eyebrows at her. She smiled, and nodded.

"I guess so," she said. "Okay, let's go back." They got up, and began following their footprints back towards the cabin.

Then they heard a noise.

"What was that?" Barry asked. Donna stopped, and listened.

"I don't hear anything," she said. Barry put a hand on her shoulder, and the rustling though the woods got more distinct. "Okay, I heard that."

"We're in the middle of nowhere," Barry said. "Who could have come out here?"

"Do you think it's Paul?" Donna asked, voice slightly above a whisper.

"His dog would be out here too," Barry said. "Oh my God. What if it's Big Foot!"

"That's the dumbest thing I've every heard!" Donna hissed. "For one thing, Big Foot has only been spotted in the Pacific Northwest, NOT Wisconsin. For another, Big Foot doesn't exist!"

"How do you explain all the sightings then?" Barry hissed back.

"It's not Big Foot!" she said, and Barry nodded. "… Though it could be a bear."

"CHRIST!"

"Quiet!" she exclaimed, clamping a gloved hand over his mouth. "If it is a bear, we don't want to attract attention to ourselves."

"What do we do?" Barry asked. "Run?"

"No, we could get lost."

"We have our footprints."

"If we run around aimlessly they won't do us much good," she said, sternly. The noise got closer. "But then, staying here may not be a good idea either."

"GOD, you had to go on a hike!" Barry exclaimed.

As they were about to freak out and play dead, the perpetrator came through the woods. It was just Eric.

"Okay, you can be mad at me all you want!" he snapped, pointing at the surprised Donna. "And you can sulk all you want too, that's fine! I'm used to it! You're NUTS when you're pregnant! But I won't let you take the only companion that we have with you into the woods so I have to sit at the cabin alone playing solitaire! Got that?"

"Oh Eric!" Donna exclaimed, hugging him, relieved that it wasn't Bigfoot. Just her husband. Eric was confused, and hugged her back.

"Yeah, that's right," he said, and Barry exhaled. "What?"

"We thought you were a bear," Barry said.

"No, you thought he was Bigfoot," Donna stated, still hugging Eric.

"Well, I'm neither of those," Eric said. "Look, let's all go back to the cabin, have some lunch, and maybe we can start this day over. Hell, Donna, why don't you try Tommy again today?"

"I'm calling him as soon as we get back, after we were nearly killed by a bear I want to hear the sound of his voice," she said, walking ahead.

"I'm not a bear!" Eric exclaimed. He turned to Barry. "Hormones, man. You're lucky you don't have to deal with pregnant women."

"You're joking, right?" Barry asked, walking with him. "I'm business partners with one."

As they got back to the cabin, Barry and Eric and Donna were talking freely, when they noticed that another car was in the driveway, and the front door was open.

"What the hell?" Donna asked. "Eric, didn't you lock the door!"

"I did!" Eric hissed, as they all ducked in the bushes. "I don't know how whoever this guy is ever got in!"

"So first almost dying in the woods, now we're being robbed!" Barry said. "Great. Yeah guys, fun idea for a trip."

"Hush!" Donna hissed. "Wait a minute. I recognize that car. But where have I seen it? I swear to GOD I just saw it recently too…"

"Jack, darling!" a voice said, coming towards the door. "I do hope you don't think that I'm getting the rest of the bags.

"Oh jeeze," Donna said, recognition entering her mind. Barry sat up, and Pamela Burkhart walked down the steps towards the car.

"And have you found any ID of the intruders?" she called back. "Or do I have to get the hunting rifle and go into the woods?" Barry leapt up, and waved at her.

"Pamela!" he exclaimed. She turned, and saw the three of them in the bushes.

"Oh my God, Barry!" she exclaimed. He walked to her, and they hugged and shared a European kiss-kiss to the cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't Jackie tell you that she said we could use your cabin for the next couple days?" he asked. Pamela thought for a second, and pulled a note out of her pocket.

"You know, when I got this note it made no sense to me, but now I think it does," Pamela said. "Hello, Eric and Dana!"

"It's Donna, but hi," Donna said, as cheerfully as she could. Barry looked at the note, and snorted.

"Dammit, Jackie," he muttered.

"What does it say?" Eric asked. Barry cleared his throat, and read it out loud.

" 'Mom and Dad. I think the cabin should be used this weekend. You redid it and it's going to waste. And yet you didn't redo my room. What the heck? I'm not fifteen anymore! I'll call you when Steven and I get home. Love, Jackie.'"

"She was so cryptic," Pamela said. "So I thought, she's right! We don't use it enough. But I guess she meant you guys were going to use it. She just didn't say that."

"No, she went on a Jackie patented tangent instead," Donna said.

"Well, this is awkward," Eric said, and laughed a little bit.

"Yes it is," Jack Burkhart said, leaving the cabin, martini in hand. "I was hoping for rest and relaxation, away from Chicago for a few days."

"Now Jack, there is an easy solution to this," Pamela said. "We ALL stay at the cabin!"

Barry, Donna, and Eric's stomachs lurched.

"Good idea, I'm not giving up my vacation," Jack said, going back into the house. Pamela smiled and hugged them all. They all smiled as best they could, but these smiles were more frantic than anything else.


	6. Chapter 5: Hard Times

A/N: Sorry this wasn't up as quick as I had hoped. The heat was on in Minneapolis yesterday and I spent the night at my parents house to escape it. But here it is now!

Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with THAT 70S SHOW.

"What do you mean my parents are there?" Jackie asked into the phone that evening as Hyde got dressed for dinner.

"I mean your parents decided that this would be a good weekend to crash with us," Barry stated. Jackie sighed, but laughed a little bit. "You're lucky they have separate bedrooms, cuz this way no one was displaced."

"Except them, now they have to share a bed," Jackie said. "Shock and awe on their part, I bet."

"So besides almost becoming dinner to Jaws, what did you do today?" Barry asked.

"I went shopping and got a new sundress!" she exclaimed, holding it up to admire yet again.

"Maternity?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she said. "So I'm going to wear it as much as possible. It's really cute!"

"I bet," Barry said. "When do you head off to dinner?"

"As soon as Steven is ready," she said, looking back at the bathroom door. "Speaking of dinner, you mentioned that you went to dinner with my parents?"

"They insisted on treating us all," Barry said.

"I'm sorry they crashed your weekend, honey."

"Could have been worse. At least I didn't run into my college roommate."

"Oh God, don't remind me," Jackie said. "Everyone thinks I'm a skank, Barry."

"You aren't a skank, you're married now," he said. "You stopped being a skank three days ago."

"Aww, how sweet," she said, sardonically. "I should get going though. Tell everyone hi for me."

"I will. Love you, loves."

"Love you, Barry." She hung up, and Hyde walked out of the bathroom.

"He's not gay at all, is he?" Hyde said, smiling. She nodded, sly smile on her face.

"Nope, he's always been my secret lover, his supposed orientation our cover," she said. "Ready?"

"Yep."

But before they could leave the hotel room, the phone rang again. She answered it.

"Hello?"

"Jackie! It's Mom!"

"Oh, hi Mom," she said, and Hyde groaned. "Steven and I are on our way out of the hotel on the way to dinner, so-."

"I was so upset that Barry didn't hand me the phone," Pamela said. "How is my baby doing? You aren't too tired are you?"

"No Mom, I'm fine," she said.

"Don't overexert yourself."

"I won't, Mom."

"And remember to stay away from alcohol."

"That's common sense!"

"Did you take your vitamins?"

"Mom, I can take care of myself, okay?" she exclaimed. "Stop treating me like a child, I'm thirty years old for God's sake!"

"Well, that didn't stop you from getting pregnant in the first place," Pamela said, coldly.

"Why did you bring that up?" she demanded. "We moved the wedding up for you and Daddy, shouldn't that make this topic irrelevant?"

"Honey, I'm not saying that you are irresponsible, but it's quite clear that even you need reminders once in awhile," Pamela said.

"I know how to handle myself!" she snapped.

"So you probably said to yourself back in December," Pamela snapped back. Jackie shrieked in rage into the phone, and hung up on her Mom. She grabbed a pillow, and held it to her face as she yelled into it. Hyde sighed, and figured they wouldn't be going to dinner any time soon. She kicked her feet in her tantrum, and hit the pillow over and over again.

"A baby should not reflect badly on me!" she exclaimed, angry tears falling down her face. Hyde silently cursed his mother in law, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the wall. Even at the age of thirty one he still didn't know how to comfort her when she was this upset. "For Christ's sake, when I agreed to move our wedding up I thought this judgment would stop!" Hyde nodded, and sat next to her.

"Yeah, I kind of did too," he said. "You wanna stay in?" She shook her head.

"No, I want to go out," she said, wiping tears from her face.

"We can't go out until you calm down," he said. She sighed, and knew that it was going to take awhile. "I'm so bad at knowing what to say, Jacks."

"I'm used to it," she muttered. "I wish I didn't cry. You never cry." He chuckled, and crossed his arms.

"I did when you left for New York," he said. She looked at him, shocked at his admission.

"No you didn't," she said.

"Don't hold it over my head or anything," he said. "I did. You left that note and the Led Zeppelin tee shirt. Broke my heart." She wiped more tears from her eyes.

"Well, that was a role reversal," she stated, and he laughed a little bit. "I wasn't even there to see it."

"Don't expect to see it ever," he said. She laughed slightly, and wiped her eyes some more.

"What do you think of this baby?" she asked. "I know that three months ago babies were the last thing on your mind. Hell, I was the last thing on your mind."

"First off, yeah, I was shocked and slightly terrified," he said. "My parents, all three of them, were barely in my life, and I sometimes worry about being a Dad. But… I'm happy about it. And secondly, you were not the last thing on my mind three months ago. Not even three years ago." He ran a hand through her hair.

"I always thought about you after you left. And when you came back, I knew I wasn't going to let you get away for a second time." The tears began again, and she cried into his chest.

"Okay, calm yerself," he said gruffly. "Jeeze, you and your hormones."

"That is one of the nicest things you've ever said to me!" she wailed, throwing her arms around him. He groaned, and hugged her too. "You are so good to me, Steven Hyde! I love you so much!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I love you too, you know that," he said, slowly unwrapping her arms from around his neck. "Aw Jackie, you got mascara all over my shirt!" She chuckled, and then moaned.

"I must look awful," she said. He smirked.

"Nah, you look fine," he said. She looked in the mirror, and gasped.

"I look like the Hamburglar!" she shrieked, and began to get up for the bathroom. He grabbed her arm gently. "Steven, I have to fix my make up so we can still go to dinner."

"Don't let any of those people get to you," he said. "Married or not, you are going to be a good Mom." She smiled, and kissed the top of his head.

"You'll be a good Dad too," she said. "You finally know how to calm a hysterical female down. If it's a girl you're set for her teenage years." She scurried for the bathroom, and he leaned back onto the bed. God, if it's a girl, when she's a teenager I'll have two high maintenance hysterics in the house, he thought.

---------------------------------------------

"Barry, how do you stand all this pink?" Donna asked as she sat on the floor of Jackie's room. Barry was on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. "She isn't as obsessed with pink anymore. But this room proves she used to be." Donna chuckled a little bit, and then sighed.

"No one was home when I called Kitty and Red's," she said. "I miss my son."

"I bet," he said. She nodded a little, and got up on the bed next to him. "Augh, pregnancy so close to me. I'm scared of pregnant women."

"You are not."

"I am! I'm always afraid if I'm in an elevator with one she'll go into labor and it will get stuck," he said.

"That's so clichéd," Donna said, nudging him.

"It's also what one would call an irrational fear," he said, and she laughed. "Where's Eric?"

"Jack is teaching him how to play Gin," Donna said. "It's kind of strange."

"Now's my chance to make the moves on Donna," Barry said, and yawned and stretched his arm around her shoulder. She laughed, and shoved him lightly. "So are you enjoying yourself?"

"I'm having a fine time," she said.

"Well I am too," Barry said. "Better than I thought I would. And I got some male bonding time with Eric while we gathered firewood with Jack for the fireplace tonight."

"I should have gone with you," she said. "I had to listen to Pamela talk about their country club in Aurora. How the hell did they get all that money back, Jack is a felon."

"Yeah, but white collar felons are usually considered shrewd and therefore are hired again," Barry said. "Besides, they're old money."

"This is true," Donna said. "I can't believe that Pamela called her own daughter a slut."

"She implied it, it's what mothers do best," Barry said.

"Well if this baby is a girl I'll never call her a slut," Donna said, patting her stomach. "I don't want to drive her away. I don't want to have the relationship Jackie has with her Mom. Hell, the relationship I have with my Mom too."

"You're a good Mom," Barry said. "Tommy adores you."

"Ha, you couldn't tell from the way he won't talk to me," Donna said, softly.

"It's a pity party!" Barry exclaimed, clapping his hands. She socked him on the shoulder. "Ow! Come on, I'm always invited to Jackie's, it's nice to hear one that's somewhat legitimate besides 'Barry, my Mom is a bitch!' 'Barry, Steven won't listen to me!' 'Barry, we were almost eaten by a shark!'"

"I wish that they stayed little forever," Donna said. "He's already declaring autonomy and he can't even read!"

"Well, this one will replace him," Barry said.

"This one shouldn't replace him, this one just shouldn't be so damn independent," Donna stated. "And Eric keeps saying it's normal, but I can't accept it."

"Donna, if it's bothering you this much, why don't we go back early?" Barry said. "That way we can escape the WASPs and you can see Tommy again."

"But I wanted this to be my last hurrah!" Donna exclaimed.

"And yet you can't stop thinking about your son," Barry stated. "This isn't a last hurrah, this is a last gasp!"

"God you're a bitch!"

"I'm just telling you the truth," Barry said, and she knew he was right. "Look, you're passed that time in your life when you can go winter cabin camping without a care in the world, because you have a kid who you are always going to be thinking about." Donna nodded, and put her hands to her face.

"I won't be free again until after all the kids go to college," she said. "Okay. I won't talk about Tommy again until after we go back to Point Place."

"Go call him," Barry said.

"Oh thank you!" Donna exclaimed. She ran out of the guest bedroom, and Barry followed her. She sat grabbed the phone, and dialed frantically. Pamela looked up from her drink, and watched curiously as the pregnant red head tapped her foot impatiently.

"Are you calling Tommy?" Eric asked, setting his cards down.

"Uh huh."

"If you get a hold of him I want to talk too," Eric said.

"I can't believe that our daughter hung up on me, Jack," Pamela said, sulkily. "I just wanted to make sure she was taking care of herself. I had such a difficult pregnancy with her, and she didn't even appreciate my advice."

"Pamela, darling, you did bring up the taboo topic we aren't supposed to bring up," Jack said.

"I know, but I'm her mother," she said. "I can't help but worry." Donna listened to them talk as the phone rang.

"You mean it doesn't end?" she asked. "Even when they're grown up?"

"Sorry, Dana. It doesn't end," Jack said, sipping his martini. Donna sighed, and hung up when no one answered. Barry pat her shoulder, and Eric excused himself from the card game. She hugged Eric, and then walked to the bedroom. Eric sighed, and followed her. Barry was going to go to his room, but wasn't out of the living room when Jack cleared his throat.

"Barry my lad, why not come play some Gin?" he asked. Barry hid his lack of excitement, and went to play Gin with Jack Burkhart.


	7. Chapter 6: Looking Up

A/N: Must do a random plug here. I highly recommend the Monterey Bay Aquarium to anyone and everyone. It's truly beautiful, I don't do it justice in this story. Oh, and 'Hill Street Blues' is quite possibly the best TV show out of the 80s…. Okay, enough from me!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW.

The Monterey Bay Aquarium was the most beautiful aquarium she had ever seen. And she had been to a few aquariums in her day. She pressed her hands against the glass, looking up at the fish as they swam about in their large tank. Hyde was staring at the fish, and pondered a little bit. Man, I wish I was young still, cuz watching this while high would be a crazy trip, he thought. Jackie smiled.

"Right now we're in the Monterey Bay Aquarium," she said softly to her stomach. "There are a lot of fish here. If you are anything like me you'll love animals, so you'll love this place. But then again, if you're like me you will only like animals with fur, or those that look pretty…. The animals here look pretty. Although the sea otters are cute, so-."

"What are you doing?" Hyde asked, standing next to her.

"I'm telling the baby about this awesome place," she said, matter of factly. "What do you think?"

"I think I've never been to an aquarium this huge," he said. "The last one I went to that was like this was Shedd in Chicago."

"That's a good one too," she said. "But this one has an ocean out the back."

"This is true," he said. They began walking, and he looked around. "This building looks so familiar to me. Where have I seen this place?" She closed her eyes, embarrassed.

"Now you can't hold this against me, but I know where you have probably seen this," she said. "… They filmed part of 'Star Trek Four: The Voyage Home' here."

"Nerd!" he exclaimed, laughing at her.

"I'm not a nerd!" she cried. "I'm not! Barry is! And I happen to LIKE that movie because it's FUNNY and not NERDY."

"You're a nerd at heart, Jacks," he said. "I know you watch DR. WHO reruns on PBS."

"I…. You…. No!" she exclaimed, caught. "And anyway, if I did watch it, which I don't, DR. WHO is VERRRRY different from STAR TREK."

"Not much," he said. She sulked, and he put an arm around her shoulders. "But yep. This is definitely where Captain Kirk and Spock found the whales."

"Ahhhhh, see, YOU'RE the nerd," she said, poking him in the side.

They walked to the ocean deck, and she put some coins in one of the observation telescopes. She moved it across the water, and saw some seals playing in the surf. She smiled, and took in the salty sea air. The next day she'd be back in Manhattan, taking in the smell of garbage on the sidewalk by their apartment building. She sighed, and decided not to think about it.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, and she let him look through the telescope. "Wow. That's pretty cool." She smiled, and took a picture of him. She decided to go to the other side of the observation deck, and began to become lost in her thoughts. I'm married, she though, and smiled. Married to the love of my life, who until three months ago I had not spoken to for ten years. This is the kind of thing you never hear about, but always dream about.

The ocean splashed below. She looked down, and smiled serenely. If only these random people didn't keep hounding me about my near single motherhood. That morning a business man on the street had given her and Hyde a strange look when they said they were newlyweds. It was the last straw, but she didn't make it apparent to Hyde. She wanted him to think it didn't bother her. The truth was she almost burst into tears.

She turned, and Hyde was gone. She looked around, and squinted through the sun.

"Steven?" she called. She walked down the deck, and began to get annoyed.

"Steven!" she exclaimed, huffing. "Dammit, where did you go?" She scanned the area, and began to walk, looking for him. As she walked, she didn't see the preteen with the soda. They collided, and he spilled grape soda all over her new sundress. She shrieked, and the kid muttered a 'I'm sorry' and kept running to wherever he was going.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed, and ran for the fountain. She began dunking her sundress in the water, and held back her angry tears that were about to emanate. "I loved this dress!"

"Hey, man, it doesn't look THAT bad," the oh so familiar voice said. Jackie looked up slowly, and saw someone else she knew from her past. Leo. Her mouth dropped.

"Oh my God, Leo?" she asked. He turned around, and then looked back at her.

"Are you talking to me?"

"Yeah, it's me, Leo," she said. "Jackie? Jackie Burkhart from Point Place, Wisconsin?" It didn't seem to register with him. She continued scrubbing her dress, and tried to think of ways to remind him. But first to attend the dress.

"I can't believe some brat spilled grape soda all over my dress!" she exclaimed. "God, grape is worse than BLOOD when it comes to staining! If I had the strength I'd throw him into the ocean!"

"… Loud Girl?" Leo asked. She groaned, and laughed a little bit.

"Yeah, I guess, if that's how you insist on remembering me," she said. She stood, and they hugged. "What are you doing here?"

"My old lady lives on a vineyard around here, I'm crashing with her," Leo said. He had barely changed. He looked older, his hair was a snow white now, but he seemed just as confused as he had been ten years earlier.

"Wow, you live on a vineyard?" she asked. Leo thought for a second.

"Yeah," he stated, and then thought a little more. "I think. Or was that my old old lady?" She arched her eyebrows, and then Hyde came out from inside the building.

"Leo?" he exclaimed. Leo turned, and grinned from ear to ear.

"Chester!" Leo exclaimed back, and hugged Hyde. Hyde chuckled a little uneasily.

"Not quite, it's me, Hyde," he said.

"Oh yeah. Hyde man, how are you?" Leo asked. Hyde grinned, and shrugged.

"I'm great," he said. "I'm fantastic, actually. I see you remember Jackie." Leo turned, and looked surprised to see the woman he'd spoken to not a minute beforehand.

"Loud Girl!" he said, hugging her again. She squeaked a little bit as he lifted her up. "Hey Hyde man, did you finally get back together with her?"

"Yeah, I did, Leo," Hyde said. "Actually, we got married three days ago." Leo grinned, and hit Hyde on the shoulder.

"That's great, you guys," Leo said. He looked at Jackie's belly, and her stomach fell at the familiar gaze. "Hey Loud Girl, are you pregnant?"

"Yeah, Leo, I am pregnant," Jackie said, putting a hand on her hip. "Yeah, after ten years of not speaking to each other Steven and I met up again, had a night of wild passion, and I was left knocked up because my birth control pill decided that THAT was night that it should fail. Lucky for our baby we love each other and he wanted to marry me, though. Cuz now it won't have to deal with the stigma of having unmarried parents." Hyde closed his eyes, and Jackie was fuming.

"That's awesome, man!" Leo said, to her surprise.

"It is?" she asked.

"Yeah!" He picked her up again, and she shrieked a little bit that time. "You guys are gonna have the best kid. If it's anything like you guys…wow…." Jackie was surprised by this new perspective on her pregnancy. And she was thrilled. She hugged Leo back as tightly as she possibly could.

"So a dirty hippy brought things back into perspective?" Barry asked as he lounged on the couch. Jackie growled over the phone.

"He's not dirty, Barry!" Jackie exclaimed. "He's an old friend of Steven's and he was really happy about the baby and non judgmental."

"So was I, you know," Barry said. "But I don't recall you gushing over me like you are this Leo guy."

"Ugh, I can't believe I have to go back to New York tomorrow," she said.

"I for one cannot wait," Barry said.

"You didn't have fun?"

"I had fun, but I miss the city," he stated. "Lucky for us your parents are out tonight. I think they're driving to some fancy restaurant that's out near the Apostle Islands."

"We're going out to dinner one last time, going for a starlit stroll, and then going back to the hotel and doing it over and over until I can't walk," Jackie said.

"I did not need to hear that," Barry said. "You're asexual. You've been asexual ever since the good old college days of drinking at the Stonewall Inn and watching 'Hill Street Blues' on Thursdays."

"Best TV show ever," she said.

"Damn right it is," Barry stated. "Oh… When we get back to Manhattan can we go out to dinner?"

"Yes."

"Good. Look, I should go, you get back to the last night of your honeymoon," he said.

"Are you having an okay time, Barry?" she asked. "You seem down."

"I'm not down, but I feel like a fifth wheel," he said. "I'm stuck here among your parents who are flaky, and Eric and Donna who are dealing with each other and their autonomous two year old."

"Huh. Well… You know there's a bar about three miles down the road," she said. "My parents would always go there and leave me at the cabin."

"Of course there's a bar two miles from nowhere, it's Wisconsin," Barry said. "I'd be shocked if there wasn't one."

"So you can go sulk there if you want."

"I don't sulk. You sulk. I brood."

"You totally sulk, Barry."

"Fine. Maybe I'll check this place out. What's it called?"

"The Bear Claw."

"… Are you kidding?"

"Nope."

"Grr…. Okay, I'm going to go do that," he said. "Have a good night. See you tomorrow, loves."

"Bye." He hung up, and grabbed his boots.

Barry pulled into the Bear's Claw parking lot ten minutes later. He looked up at the neon sign, and sighed. Well, may as well go attempt to have some fun, he thought. He walked into the bar, and scanned the room. Almost completely empty, except for a few men in hunting clothes. What season could be in March, Barry wondered, and sat at the bar. The bartender looked at him, and arched his eyebrows.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Ummm… What kind of wines do you have?" Barry asked. "Anything from Napa Valley?" The bartender kept with the blank stare, and Barry nodded. "Okay, well… What's the beer on tap?"

"Bud, Miller, Michelob, Pabst, Coors," the man listed.

"Any Leinenkugel?" Barry asked.

"Of course," the man said. "Original?"

"Sure, sock it to me," Barry said, and the man went to get a mug. Barry tapped his hands on the bar, and grabbed some pretzels.

"Hey," the voice said. Barry turned around, and Paul Ramsey was there.

"Oh, hi," Barry answered. Paul sat next to him, and leaned on the bar.

"Barry, right?"

"Yeah. And you're Paul?"

"Yep. Hey, could I get a Leinenkugel?" he asked the bartender. The man nodded, and got another mug. "So what brings you here without your friends?"

"Well, I feel like a fifth wheel," Barry said. "Jackie's parents came up by coincidence, and I had to get out of the cabin. I was getting all 'Shining' like or something." Paul laughed.

"I hear ya," he said. They were served their beers, and Paul chuckled. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I am from New York City," Barry said. "That's where I met Jackie, at NYU."

"Impressive. And what do you guys do with those degrees?"

"We're business partners," Barry said, sipping his beer. It was pretty good. "We have an interior decorating business."

"Ah, I gotcha," Paul said. "So I just wanted to apologize again about my dog."

"Eh, it's okay," Barry said. "It freaked Donna out, but I wasn't scared-."

"Donna…. That sounds familiar to me," Paul said. "Wait. Is she a redhead? Kind of tall?"

"That's her," Barry said. "She had some VERY interesting things to say about you, though." Paul laughed, and they both drank some beer.

"What did she say?"

"She said that you tried to pick up both her and Jackie in one weekend when they were teenagers," Barry said, a little more critically than he meant to.

"Well, I was really confused back then," Paul said.

"Confused about how many people generally go on a date?" Barry jibed. Paul laughed, and shrugged.

"Among other things," he said, sipping his beer and looking at the bar. Barry kind of arched an eyebrow. "If you catch my drift." Barry looked behind him, then back at Paul.

"Umm… I'm not sure," Barry said, lowering his voice. "I… I think I do."

"Let's just say I'm not into hitting on girls anymore," Paul said, and Barry grinned.

"I hear that," he said, and smiled slightly. Shyly. Perhaps this trip could still be salvaged after all.


	8. Chapter 7: End of the Road

A/N: This is a shorter chapter. Be warned. Exceedingly Fluffy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW.

Hyde and Jackie ate at Victorian Corner Restaurant for their last night in Monterey Bay. Their seat had a wonderful view of the bay at sunset, and Jackie had not stopped smiling since the Aquarium. Hyde was relieved that Leo of all people had finally pulled her out of her funk. As they walked around the town, and after Jackie had found a sundress as cute as her other one, they merely sat on the shore, away from the water, and watched people swim and surf.

"Our honeymoon is almost over," she mused. "You only get one, you know."

"Not if you get married more than once," Hyde said.

"That's a horrible thing to say!" she scolded. "We're going to be married forever!"

"Few people go in thinking otherwise."

"Steven, knock it off," she begged, and he chuckled, hugging her from behind.

"Okay, I'll stop," he said. "So was it a good honeymoon? Was it everything you were going on about for two months?"

"No," she said, simply.

"Ouch."

"It certainly wasn't how I pictured it, but it was still wonderful," she continued, touching his scruffy face with her hand as she stared at the sea. "And I got two sundresses out of it, and some nice books on Monterey Bay that can go on our coffee table. And of course a roll of film."

"And this," Hyde said, and dangled a necklace in front of her. She gasped a little, and turned around to face him. "I saw it at the aquarium gift shop, and thought you'd like it." It was a silver necklace, with a small silver shark charm on it. She grinned, and accepted the gift.

"It's beautiful," she said, and he put it around her neck. She touched it lightly with her fingers.

"I thought the shark would be appropriate, since we had our own close encounter with one," he said.

"It's perfect," she said, kissing him.

"Good, I'm glad you like it. I thought you may find the shark ugly of something," he said, and she turned back to the ocean, arms resting on his.

"Well, I used to," she said, and giggled. "But when I saw our little friend in the water, it was really gorgeous. I don't think JAWS gives sharks a fair shake, you know?"

"How zen," he said.

"Thank you, I still have it sometimes," she said. "What about you? Was it all you hoped it would be?"

"Eh, I didn't have high expectations for the honeymoon," he said. She swatted him gently. "But I know what I want to do now. I want to go back to the hotel, and have some more alone time with my wife."

"And because you gave me this necklace I should give it to you?" she asked.

"It would be a nice thank you gesture," he answered. She giggled, and nodded.

"So now that you're been married to me for four days, was it all you dreaded it would be?" she asked, as he helped her stand up.

"Ah man, it's the worst," he said, and smirked at her. "My sham of a marriage to Sam was better than this one."

"LET'S not joke about THAT," she said, and he laughed to himself. "Seriously. She was a skank. And I can say that now because I'm your wife."

"And Fez was a tool."

"What a thing to say about one of your closest friends!"

"Eh. That was a bad year for us. It was like a TV show that jumped the shark."

"No kidding. What was up with that?"

They got back to the hotel, and made love as the ocean splashed outside their hotel room. Afterwards, a robed Jackie walked onto the balcony, and hugged herself as the cool sea air chilled her. She looked back at her dozing husband, and played with her necklace some more. She smiled, and bit her lip. So even if she did have to go back to New York City the next day, the necklace he gave her would be a constant reminder of the interesting honeymoon they had experienced. After all. Who could say that they were almost eaten by a shark on their honeymoon?

---------------------------------------

Donna awoke to the phone in the bedroom ringing. She looked at the clock. It was seven am. She groaned, and rolled over. Eric sat up, rubbed his eyes, and answered it.

"Hello?" she heard him ask, and tried to cover her ears with the pillow. She was almost asleep again, when Eric nudged her.

"What?" she asked.

"Phone for you," he said.

"It can't be Jackie, it's five in the morning there," Donna said.

"It's not Jackie," Eric said. Donna took the phone, and sat up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mommy." She was wide awake at that simple phrase.

"Hi Tommy, what are you doing up?"

"When you coming home, Mommy?" he asked. She smiled, and rubbed her eyes with her hand.

"Daddy and I are going to come pick you up today, and then we're all going home," she said. "Honey, why did you call this early?"

"I miss you."

"Oh baby. I miss you too. Don't worry, we're going to be there to get you this afternoon. I promise. Go back to sleep," Donna said.

"Okay."

"I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too, Mommy." She smiled.

"Donna?" Kitty asked.

"Hi, Kitty," Donna said. "Is he okay?"

"He had a bad dream and wanted to talk to you, sorry for waking you up," Kitty said.

"No really Kitty, it's fine," Donna said. They said their goodbyes, and she hung up. She hit Eric's shoulder, and he groaned.

"He called!" she squealed.  
"Who didn't see THAT coming?" Eric muttered. She kissed him, and he swatted her with a pillow. "Donna, I want to sleeeeeep!"

She couldn't fall back to sleep after her happy phone call. So she brushed her hair and got dressed, and went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee for everyone. As she put the coffee in the pot, the porch door slowly opened. She couldn't imagine who was trying to get into the house, so she grabbed the nearest weapon, a spatula, and hid behind the counter. She heard the door open, and someone step inside. She took in a deep breath, and then leapt up from behind the counter, yelling. Barry yelled as well, and held up his hands.

"Jesus!" he exclaimed, and Donna exhaled. "Don't do that!"

"Well what are you doing sneaking around the yard at seven in the morning?" she demanded. He took the spatula from her, and gave her a condescending look.

"So were you going to flip me to death with this thing?" he asked, and she smiled sardonically at him.

"Har har," she said, and he laughed with her. "Seriously though, what were you doing out there?" He grinned, sheepishly.

"I'm just getting home," he said, and began to walk for the guest room, but Donna had him by the sleeve.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on," she said, pulling him into the kitchen unit. "Where were you? And who were you with?"

"Are you my mother now? I didn't realize I had a curfew."

"Barry, come on!" He arched his eyebrows, and pat her on the head.

"You know Paul Ramsey, who you were scared of stalking you?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"He isn't stalking you," Barry said. "He has no interest in YOU whatsoever." Donna put her hands to her mouth, and laughed.

"You and Paul?" she asked. "Okay, what happened?"

"I'm not the type who kisses and tells, you know," Barry said, taking his coat off and walking into his bedroom. Donna put her hands on her hips.

"So you admit to kissing him!" Donna called after him. "I'm just going to make some sordid details in my mind and assume that's what happened, is that what you want?"

"Do what you will!" he called back.

"Dammit," she muttered.


	9. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW. But Barry is mine and I think he's spiffy!

Jackie walked into her office Friday afternoon. Barry was already working on some color schemes, and he leapt up and hugged her. She laughed, and handed him a bag.

"That's what I was actually excited for," he said, taking the gift. She stuck her tongue out at him, and sat at her desk. "So how was your trip?"

"Terrific," she said, setting a seashell on her desk. "How was the cabin?"

"I got laid." She almost spit out her coffee.

"What! By who?"

"Your north woods neighbor, Paul Ramsey."

"No way!"

"Yep," Barry said, unwrapping his gift. He pulled out two little humpback whale toys. "What are these?"

"They're from the aquarium," she said. "You know, where they filmed that movie you dragged me to in the theater."

"Star Trek Four!" he exclaimed, and laughed. "George and Gracie the whales!" She nodded, and began to sketch. "Aw, thanks!"

"You're welcome," she said.

As the day went on, Jackie began to feel sleepier and sleepier. By lunch time she had almost sprawled on her desk in slumber, when there was a knocking on the door. She sat up, paper stuck to her face, and called, "Come in!" She yanked the sketch off her face as Hyde walked in.

"That's lovely," he said, and handed her a wrapped gift.

"Oh gosh, what's this?" she asked, and he shrugged.

"I had time today, got something done," he said. She unwrapped it, and laughed out loud.

It was a blown up framed picture of the shark that they would fondly speak of for years to come. The fin, anyway. "I thought you may want it for the wall of your office."

"Awwww!" she said, and hugged him. "Thank you, Steven! It's the perfect memento from our honeymoon!"

"Glad you like it," he said. "I thought you could hang it right above your drawing board." She smiled, and set it up on her desk for the time being.

"So for our SECOND honeymoon," she began.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Hyde said, holding up his hands. "We just got back from our first one and you're already planning our next one?"

"I was thinking London," she said. "Or Paris."

"Let's not jump the gun," he said, gruffly, but she was already off.

"Or Italy!" she exclaimed. "I bet Italy is gorgeous!"

"Jeeze, Jackie…" Before he could begin complaining about her fanciful plans, she cut him off with a kiss on his lips. He shrugged, and kissed her as well. I hope Barry has a long lunch break, he thought, as she pushed him onto the desk. Just because their trip was over, it didn't mean the honeymoon had ended.

THE END

A/N: Well, I hoped that everyone liked it. I enjoyed writing this epilogue. When I have the time (not tonight, papers to write), I will put up more stories. I have some catching up to do, it seems.


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